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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Cutting off an un-healthy friendship

 I am so compelled  to write because of something that I recieved from a text from my telephone yesterday! I don't call myself as a person who  enjoys texting, but I repond to them at times! This time from yesterday  I recieved a text yesterday from a so-called best friend! It said," Hello?"!  However, the question mark caught my attention in the message!  I could tell that he was extremely poundered why  I didn't repond back, give him calls, or talked to him a lot like I used to previously!

You're probably asking, " What did he do wrong?"  I gave out a lot into the friendship, which he was the taker who didn't wanted to pour very little into the relationship!  I was asked by him, " How is our friendship getting better?"  I told him the truth, and gave him a fore-warning that, " I am not going to talk all the time and try and keep a conversation going if you decide that you don't want pour back anything yourself!  After I told him that, he decided to make a decision to pour back into the friendship!"

Weeks later,  The same thing again and again by him! I started doing the calculations and adding it up, I begin to realize that  he didn't want to put in much effort just as I did!  Bascially,  I decided to cut the friendship off  in silence because I felt it was the right thing to do! The reason on my part because I thought it was healthy for me!  I didn't want to deal with a taker all the time!

As I  done an article on" focusing on the new person in your life!"  I told you that I felt good  while driving off to my job! I knew that it's time to focus on new, not the old!   I will admit the past will harbor up those feelings of that old relationship, and it could be a  date, new friendship, or getting ready for marriage!  Sometimes, the past will try and come back! Usually, we become very tempted to call that person because  most of us just want to go back!  The same results happen again, that person goes back to their same old ways, which is giving words of destructive criticism, being nosy and damaging your trust, or going back to their old ways of being a taker!

Why I felt  cutting off " in secret" was the best thing

My reason I didn't want to confront him because he always got offended! However, I felt in my spirit that it was the right thing to do because  I didn't want to deal with that drama and being nosy!  Those two things I don't like at all!

Some people like  drama  and wanting to be nosy of wanting to know " why?!" Then when you tell them why, they get offended about it!

Fighting past thoughts after cutting off unhealthy friendship

 I will admitt that I fight past thoughts of unhealthy friendship! " There will be a thought," You are guilty for not calling him, that's not right!"  I  fight it and say " no"!    When a thought give a thought of feeling bad or guility,It's an indication for the past to come back alive again!

 I realized in order for a unhealthy friendship to be dead in your thoughts or emotions, you have to  focus hard on the new person coming into my life!  That even means not reponding to that person's calls  or text messages! Besides,some people have to delete that person's number so that they want know who it is!

Usually, it will take a good minute before those thoughts are dead for good! Don't get me wrong, it sometimes take time due to long a person has been in an unhealthy relationship!

If you want a new and healthy friendship with a person! You have to get yourself in line in order to manfest the new friendship in your life! This comes with the same thing for a date!

Final word

If you find yourself in a friendship with a person who is a taker, or one who degrades you, or loves to speak destructive words of criticism, nor doesn't try to understand you! Then it's time to cut that un-healthy friendship out once!  That's not good for a person because it puts him or her though a lot of emotional damage at the end! 

In plus, I would like to hear your opinions and comments! How do unhealthy friendships affect us?

Until the next blog! Be safe and be blessed

Copyright (©) Tyler J.Logan
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