Happy New Year to everyone! My first subject for the start of the new year is about confronting the person who has hurt you. This topic is very popular concerning the subject of forgiveness!
This is said because when one is hurt and cannot forgive, he or she looks for advice from other people! The popular advice that most people give that one has to confront the person who has hurt him or her ! This is the first thing that most people say to do!
Confronting the abuser can work two ways for a person! It can make the situation better,or it can make the situation worse!This healing method confronting can be extremely tricky! In addition, most people say that every person has to confront the person who has hurt him or her in order to heal!They are lying to you by that statement!!!
Confronting doesn't work with every person! Each person forgives and heals emotionally in different ways! One must understand that what works for one person, will not always work for another person! If a person decides to confront the abuser or offender, it is important to use wisdom before going into that type of situation. By this, I am going to be honest and truthful giving these two pointers of using wisdom!
I. The knowing and revelation
Before I get into the first part, I want to say that confronting does have some good sides! Some people are wondering about the first point of wisdom "The knowing" in this part! The knowing is a strong gut feeling of peace that a person has in their soul and spirit of what he or she supposed to do!
Before a person goes to confront a person, one has a gut feeling of peace to lead them to confront their abuser and offender!This comes with knowing in their soul and spirit that one is supposed to confront their abuser or offender! Due to a person's knowing to confront the person who hurt him or her,it also comes with a revelation. Revelation means that when one is revealed something! A revelation comes to people, which they know that they are going to confront that person.
Due to the revelation and knowing their soul and spirit, they were obedient to that strong gut- feeling! It caused the situation to be resolved. This means that they did not yell, fight and cause confusion! It doesn't cause them to become bitter towards each other. They gave chances to listen to each other. One was quiet when the other person was talking!
II. The preparation
Even though certain people will get a revelation and a knowing in their heart to confront the abuser or offender, it will sometimes be revealed to most of them to be prepared to confront in the future. In order words, they are going to have a preparation period before they confront their abuser or offender. Overall, they will know in their hearts when it's time to confront, which it will be revealed to them.
During that period of preparation for the abuser, he or she will be revealed of what he or she has done previously to a person. When the abuser has that revelation, he or she will not deny what they have done in the past! With a lot of abusers during that time of preparation, they will have conviction of what they done in the past in order to apologize.
As for the person who couldn't forgive, their preparation will be to get their emotions under control.Their heart is getting ready to receive their apology so that healing and forgiveness can take place.After things are resolved, reconciliation usually takes place so that a relationship can build! Don't get confused! When something is resolved, it doesn't mean that you have to build a relationship with that person.
However, I hope that this information helps a person before they go into a situation of confronting the abuser or offender! It is important to have a knowing and a revelation to confront that person. Now, most people will get a revelation that they are to get ready and prepared to confront! That takes time! Don't rush it!! Follow and listen to that strong gut-feeling when it speaks that it's time!When one doesn't have a revelation or a knowing in their heart to confront,which they take it in their own hands to confront anyway!It becomes very dangerous!
I am going to write and talk about the cons in part II in the next blog. I hope that it helped you and have a great evening and day!
(©)Copyright by Tyler J.Logan