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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I forgive, the mind refuses to forget- have I truely forgave the person who hurt me

First, I want to say to the readers that forgiveness is my most favorite self-help subject that I like to talk to other people. The subject forgiveness has been talked about a lot of times as we have observed on the internet.Normally, it's been the same similar thing! I am not trying knock down or nothing like that!

Overall, some people believe that if one forgives,but he or she doesn't forget, they don't believe that one has not forgiven the person who has hurt him or her. Other people believe that if one forgives,and he or she have not forgotten what was done to him or her, which they believe that one has truly forgiven the person who hurt him or her.

Due to so much debates and arguments about this question, one doesn't know who to believe. This has been one of the top self-help questions that people are looking for a true and honest answer. Usually, we see the same debate and argument in order to have an answer concerning this question. I will tell you that I feel these people out here that have this question in their mind because there has been some confusion! My explanation will be broken down and explain so that I truly hope that you will understand and probably feel that this is your answer! In addition, this answer will be honest. I am going to break it down in sections. In contrast, I want to let the readers know that I am not here to debate!!!!

I. Is it possible to forget after forgiving the person

This is a question that so many people have had a debate about! It is possible to forgive and forget only when the offense is extremely minor! This means that the offense did not have an affect on their emotional and mental state to which it doesn't cause them to have of rage and resentment! Few people forget quickly and don't remember the minor offense! Other people might remember that minor offense for an hour, one day, two days, four days or a week later-but it is forgotten.

Overall, they believe that it was no big deal, which it doesn't come across their mind for that time.This means that they forgotten about what had happened. Let's use this for example, Jill forgets to do a very important chore that her father told her to do!

 However, her father arrives home and then asks Jill about the important chore. Jill spoke the truth to him that she didn't do the important chore because she forgot! At the same time, Jill was afraid that her father was very mad and rage out on her to which he would not forgive her! However, Jill apologizes and begs for his forgiveness, which she says, "I am sorry and please forgive me, I know that the chore was important to you but I just forgot!" Her father says," that's no big deal! I forgive you and accept your accept! Don't worry about it! we all make mistakes! Don't fret over it my dear!" Jill sees that her father is not mad at all! 4 days later, Jill brings back the second time about the important chore! Her Dad asks," what are you talking about?!" When Jill's father spoken the previous statement, it was a sign he didn't actually remember the offense!

II. I forgive, but not forgotten-have I truly forgiven.

This is another question about forgive and forget! Some people have the forgiven that person, but there minds cannot forget how that person hurt them, which could be past memories of abuse,destructive criticism, or molestation, lying,spouse cheated on them,or someone killed their loved one. The root reason why it's so hard to forget the offense is because the past memories are extremely deep in most peoples' mental state!

This means that the different types of abuse, destructive criticism, their spouse cheating on them, or molestation could have been going on for years with some people, which causes not to forget! This also includes people who were struck by memories of destructive criticism, spouse cheating on them, or someone killed their loved one, which occurred all in one day!This is the reason why their minds cannot forget!

    Overall, this leads to the main question! I forgive, but my mind cannot forget - have I truly forgave the person who hurt me-have? In this case " yes" - it is possible to truly forgive, but not forget!This only comes when one has been truly and deeply healed from the emotional damages and hurts from their past! The memories of past don't have an affect on their emotional state! This means that he or she doesn't feel any emotions of anger, resentment, rage against that person!

So whenever that person who has hurt them previously come in their presence,one doesn't feel the anger, resentment, and rage rising up while in the mist of their presence. Even though one stills remembers the painful memories, but it doesn't cause their mind and emotions to build up rage, anger, and resentment! This indicates that one has truly forgiven a person when they are healed emotionally!

Now if one says that he or she has forgiven a person, but not forget! At the same time, that person comes into their presence, one feels rage,anger,resentment,intense hatred and bitterness rising up in their emotional state! Usually this leads a person to lash out, and to beat up that person! Sometimes, when one is that person's presence, one is saying in their minds,"Get the hell away from me! Stay the hell out of my life! I cannot stand to be in your presence I cannot stand you! I want to beat the mess out of you so badly, you just don't know! I want to get a baseball bat and beat the hell out you!"

Sometimes, most of us can act so calm, but at the same time we feel the anger and rage going to explode! However,these things reveal that one has not truly forgiven that person! This is how you will know that one has truly forgave a person or not! Overall,I have been there in this area in thinking those thoughts!

However, it might be hard to forgive and forget! One must understand that their healing process doesn't happen overnight! With most people, forgiveness doesn't happen as fast! It takes time for their hurts and pains in their emotional state to be healed piece by piece. However, I thank you for the time for reading this subject!

(©)Copyright by Tyler J.Logan
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