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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Does a person have to share and open- up about their story - (pros and cons)

This is a question that has probably been a debate with most people conerning self-help! This is putting their story out there for other people to know about what happened in their life! For those who don't know what I mean when I say " story"! It means that one have been through a lot of trials, abuse,and very intense hardships, or secrets that one would not tell a person! However, so many people have probably debated in their minds!Should they put share their story to others in groups, or to known person, or the internet?! The reason why most people have this sort of matter is because some of them want to get their feelings out one person or more people in order to let them know!This can be good sometimes, but also a great danger. This means that there are a couple of pros and cons for most people need to be aware of!


THE PROS

First, I want to talk about sharing your story with a person that you know! One has to be sure that he or she trust that invidual enough to tell their story such as a counselor or a close friend! In order words, the close friend or a counselor are understanding or compassionate to hear what one has to say, which means that they can handle hearing your story! However, this allows a person to be at a comfortable and a secure level of trust! This is one good side of this part!

Second, I want to talk about the internet!Before going on the internet, one has to be sure that he or she has gained enough trust and to be comfortable telling their story to the public on the internet! One would probably ask where would he or she would go to share their story on the internet in order to release their feelings? One must be sure that he or she finds on the internet a group or a particular audience who are dealing with the same thing as him or her!In order words,it's important to find!

For example, if one finds an group on the internet about mental abuse, and that's the area that one is dealing with! That would be their group of people on the internet to share about thier story!

 Before sharing your story with that group, one has to be sure that particular audience is not bashing each other nor tearing them down! This means that particular audience are not commenting harshy towards other people, or in that group on the internet!

Another thing, if one decides to put there story out there in order to help people, one still must find their targeted audience, or a group with the same similiar thing what they have been through also. This very good when a person finds a site that is truely trusted!


THE CONS

However, there is a downside to opening up your story to other people! What is fence to be spoken; it might make the average person offended! First, I want to speak about the internet! The great danger of sharing your story on the internet. If one has found a group, or a particular audience that is dealing with the thing as him or her! That's fine and okay!

The main thing is that so many people go on the internet to type in their story or asking a self-help question that they are looking for an answer without looking for a targeted audience or group dealing with the similar thing as them! What happens when people put their story in order to help others, or wanting to express their feelings in order to get it out, or ask a self-help question on the wrong particular website, which it doesn't connect with the audience or group battling with similar things as them; heavy destructive criticism is waiting around the corner!

If the mental state of a person is not ready for destructive criticism and misunderstanding. Most likely, that person will not post any more on that site. This will lead to their trust level to be damaged!

On those wrong type of sites, around 60 to 85 percent of most people cannot relate and truely feel what a person is going through! I am here to warn you that most people can be very harsh, destructivity criticize, and to be extremly rude!This is because of the mindset from most people.Especially on the internet, most people  don't truely feel the story of another person! Too,they cannot handle the another person's story.

Posting on the wrong type of sites, I will say over half of the percentage of people don't care or feel what you are going through because they haven't been through it themselves!It might sound offensive, but it's true!This is why it's so important to find a trusted group on the internet, people who are in the group battling the same things as the same person!

Most people have spoken the statement sticks and stones may break my bones,but words will never hurt me! That's a lie! Words do hurt!That's a very deceving and lying statement.

In contrast, I think that it's good to open up to a person,but only when it's a trusted individual. However, the major problem is that so many people force others to open up their story without speaking about the importance of trust in the picture! What they have not come to the revelation of most folks are not confortable enough to tell their story to another person or a group of people unless it's a truely trusted- individual! Too,most people refuse to accept the fact that most folks are not confortable telling their story without a trusted individual! This reason why because they have developed to be comfortable to spill their guts to others and they want others to do the same thing without trust in the picture! They get offended and mad just because that person doesn't want to open up!

My thing is that if one forces a person to open up, and he or she has not gained that person's trust; Don't expect that person to open up!It is simple as that! This makes so many people mad and offended! This is something I have never understood why so many people get very mad!

Moveover,the first statement that an indivual will throw in person's face, " Well opening-up is good for you!" I agree to this statement, but there is some deception behind statement!Some of you probably saying " How and why?"! The deception comes in when a person has opened up and told a  person their story, and that untrusted individual gives them heavy destructive criticism!

After the untrusted individual listened to their story, he or she will go gossip to other people about that person's story! In addition, that person has to deal with their personal story told to others out on the streets, and the destructive criticism of one invidual and another one, and then that person is angry at the actual individual who told their information,and gave him or her destructive criticism! That's where the deception lies in!

Even though that person might have beleived that opening up was good for him or her, but he or she wasn't told about finding an individual who can be truely trusted! Now, opening up is good for a person; only when a person has found an invidual who can be truely trusted! This is because that person don't have to be worried about the truely trusted invidual giving him or her heavy destructive criticism and gossiping to other people!

Overall, I know that some might be tired of me speaking about trust! Our society as a whole is slowly moving away from the foundation of trust! As for me, if a person don't want to open up about their story! I think that one should respect that person! Not get mad and offended! When a person doesn't want to open up, he or she has a thing that an invidual has to truely earn their trust! I applaud the person who has that type of mentality because that person has strongly believes in the importance of trust! They value trust! My last word in this subject is that trust and respect go together because it builds bridges!


(©) Copyright by Tyler J.Logan
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